The Program

Finding a Date in A Sea of Troubles

By Rory Gilchrist

Valentine’s Day is coming up this Thursday, and one thing is on everyone’s minds: gettting into their loved one’s… ahem… heads.

But how to do that? This looks like a job for… SHAKESPEARE SONNETS!

One of my personal favorites is Sonnet 65 *clears throat*

Since brass, nor stone, nor earth, nor boundless sea,
But sad mortality o’er-sways their power,
How with this rage shall beauty hold a plea,
Whose action is no stronger than a flower?
O, how shall summer’s honey breath hold out
Against the wreckful siege of battering days,
When rocks impregnable are not so stout,
Nor gates of steel so strong, but Time decays?
O fearful meditation! where, alack,
Shall Time’s best jewel from Time’s chest lie hid?
Or what strong hand can hold his swift foot back?
Or who his spoil of beauty can forbid?

O, none, unless this miracle have might,
That in black ink my love may still shine bright.

Damn. Disclaimer: The Johnnie Chair accepts no liability for being accosted with sexual propositions after reading aloud sonnets. Such works are powerful, and those unsure about the effects of sonnets should consult their doctor before taking any kind of poetry. For external use only.

The smouldering gaze of the most sensual writer in the English language offers you help in the bedroom department. Not that you need it, or anything.
The smouldering gaze of the most sensual writer in the English language offers you help in the bedroom department. Not that you need it, or anything.

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